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The Big Red Thrashing Machine: Minnesota

The Big Red Thrashing Machine:  Minnesota

 

 

The author of this piece is the shadowy, corn-fed fan known as "J.B. Shucker."

 

Here were are staring down the chute of a Game 7 already as The Big Red Thrashing Machine sports the road tires again to travel up river to the Land of 10K Farm Ponds. Although we are still not certain who will be the primary cobb-tosser, I feel comfortable again this week with whomever has the 10 healthiest toes and can correspond via sign language with the talking headsets barking on the edge of the field.   

The Farm Chores have been able to take a few weekends off while the rest of the teams have pulled the plow around the Big 10 acres.  This week starts a new path that will hopefully lead to a few bonus laps.  This game’s outcome reminds me of how my buddy Travis goes fishin….with dynamite.  Calmly light the fuse, shake the ground and watch them critters come up for daylight.   And yes, the phrase “Hold my beer and watch this” does have a place in these steps.  Gophers don’t care for dynamite or beer and I can prove it because I have never heard one of them ask me for either.

Gopher holes do not belong in cornfields and the Huskers will need to make short work of this trip, get out before turning an ankle in a gopher hole and start moving on with the rest of the harvest.  I am prognosticating a game of offensive stalls and defensive battles.  The first team to break free of the others hold, sink the half in deep, and roll them over will win by 17.

 

Farm Chores  -  34

Mini-Sodas  -  17

 

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